It's Funny Hoe Wrong I Can Be

I just recovered from a cold, the first one I've had in a long time, and now I'm ready to bring the fields back under control and ready them for winter. The temperature dropped for a few days a week back and this led to a whole ground covering of fresh greens in my first eight rows. My uncle says these creepers will overwinter, so I'm back in the field hoeing them down.

Surprisingly, my strawberries haven't slowed down at all and now they are my number one weed. They are just thick, covering the rows and aisles, not even leaving space to walk in some areas.

I've made apple juice once already, but want to make more before all the fruit falls from the trees. I've been storing apple sauce for the winter. It is delicious. Also being stored for the winter: carrots, green/wax/purple beans, tomatoes, peppers, strawberries. I might be storing some of these in my grandmother's freezer, as mine are already running out of room.

My other large project for the fall has to do with poles and posts. I've only put about 2/5ths of the posts in for the bramble trellis, and I don't like how my tomato trellis turned out, so I'm going to salvage those posts and the string, and rebuild it next year. I might not pull all of the posts out, but some of the rows need rebuilding for sure.

After the first few days of frost, I'll be covering the strawberries with straw &/or corn stalks for winter protection, and that'll be the end of the season.

O! hoe the seasons change!

I believe I went to my last farmer's market for the season last week. I may still sell apples, the remaining tomatoes, and those ever everbearing strawberries by the roadside, but my first summer as a farmer has nearly passed. There's still some hoeing to do, but germination has slowed down and each row hoed goes quickly.

Fall will be heavy with the wood chopping, trellis building, and repairs. The strawberries will need winter protection soon enough. But I know I'll be germinating seeds by early January and the whole thing begins anew.

Early notes for next year's garden: x4 on the green beans! +sweet corn! (I heard Chicago was paying a dollar an ear this year)

I saw a tree yesterday that had the audacity to already have a dozen yellow leafs.

It's Quite Hoet Out.

Man that title is terrible.

Finished going through the strawberry patch again. It's looking strong in most spots, but my late replants to fix the bare patches from washout haven't begun runnering yet. I'll just have to take care of that in the spring.

The roadside tomato stand is working well. I make as much there as at a market. But the heat is ridiculous. Heat index has been over 110 the past few times I've gone out. One lady said she couldn't imagine a worse job. Thank you for the kind words, ma'am.

I have tomatoes in the following colors: red, pink, green, yellow, purple, orange.

There are a few black ones too, but I don't sell those.

Hoed Every Row

A little behind schedule, but every row has been hoed.

The tomatoes are beginning to turn red. The cherry tomatoes have been yellow/orange for a couple weeks now, but I've ate all of them instead of taking them to market.

I have a bunch of broccoli that has been big for a while, but a few of them have only now begun putting on the actually head of broccoli. I don't know what's up with them, but I sure wish they'd hurry up.

I also dug up some potatoes after the last rain. I planted a variety called All Blue, but the potatoes themselves are purple. They're a little hardier than the other varieties. I haven't figured out the best way to prepare them yet, but last night I cut them up and fried them like breakfast potatoes. They were alright that way. I might try them in a stew instead.

When It Rains, Hoe Boy, It Pours!

Five and 3/10ths inches in 36 hours here. After about 2 weeks of no rain. Quite the wash out.

I hoed today and monday, and am 10 rows deep. I plan on going out again this evening and being done with the field by at least Saturday.

The tomatoes are starting to turn, I'm getting a lot of cherry tomatoes but they haven't made it to the market yet because they're just too good eating.

My tomato trellis end-posts aren't quite anchored well enough, and the pulling tension combined with the sudden rains have made a few of them lean. Toads have taken up residence in the ensuing 2 inch gaps created by the leaning posts.

Logo by Hoenest Farmette

Hoes & Spades

After visiting Kansas City for the Honest Farmette's family reunion this weekend, I was looking forward to knocking out the rest of the weeds in the strawberry patch. My Uncle was one step ahead of me, and called for another weeding party. This one featured hoes and spades. I wielded one of the latter for the first time, quite efficiently if I do say so myself. Together we got it all down to three aisles by eight. After breakfast the task was continued, and at noon, the field was weed free. Hooooooooray!

At its worst, it took 2.5 hours to go through a row. Now, with a hoe, it takes 30-45 minutes for a row and aisle together. Four rows a day is the new goal, and that'll put me through the field in 6 days. I think that sounds easy now.

A New Hoep

I had a weed party in my strawberry field on the 5th at 6 am, and seven of the best people I know showed up. We had two hoeing the aisles and six in the rows, pulling by hand. Most just needed a quick tug, but one of the grasses was particularly challenging and required a spade. At one point I joked that the vining morning glory almost made it fun. It was a joke, and only an almost, because it was not fun at all. It was however extremely satisfying to see the field weeded and back within optimal hoe effectiveness. Also encouraging were the high number of runners each of the plants gave off. A few of the most impressive ran a few feet with two rooted nodes and a third stepping out. The party concluded with strawberries from the everbearing rows.

Weeds

They're a menace.

How Sweet Corn You Be?

The Honest Farmette and I helped pick sweet corn this morning for my Uncle. It is delicious, but the bugs made meals of us while we were out there.

My popeye arms have returned to normal after two days of swelling. I went in the hives on Saturday day, despite Friday night's incident, and marked both of my queens with green nail polish. It's not the recommended marker, but it works. In the process, I got some on one queen's wing which may ultimately prove to be fatal, should the worker bees not approve. They may supersede her, and once the new queen is born and mated, they'll simply stop feeding the old one. I'll go in the hives again next week to see if this is the case.

Also nearly had my hands on another wild swarm, but I was told about it while at an art auction and it had moved on before I got to it. Those are the breaks.

Hoe Could I Bee So Foolish!?

The weeds are too big now to effectively hoe without causing collateral to the strawberry plants and their runners so I have to hand weed the rows. The Hoerse still does wonders in the aisles.

A friend is visiting this weekend, and last night I was excited to show her my bees. We went over to the hives, had our head gear on, she stood a few feet back. The lid was sealed with propolis, a sealant created by the bees from tree sap. I tried to pop the top off, but sliced my thumb in the process.

I may have bummed the hive as well, but it could just be that it was already too late in the day to go into the hive. In any event, as soon as I lifted the cover--as soon as I lifted, not even an inch high--a score of bees flew on me stinging my shirt, my arms, and my hat. I took four in the arms, and three on my back through my shirt.

I closed the lid quickly and, with the bees still trying to get me, buzzing angrily much too close to my ears, we retreated to some trees. Bees get confused when you stand under trees so they leave you alone.

The stings didn't hurt so bad, just like pin pricks. But over the next three hours I started to itch in strange places. The palms of my hands. My scalp. My toes. My forearms started to swell, and I had red blotchiness under my armpits on my arm and chest. The redness spread a across my chest and down before I went to sleep.

Now it's the morning. Everything is fine except my forearms, which are still swollen. I'm not sure why they're still like this. Maybe because the blood isn't circulating the venom out. They're just really sore. We'll see how things go. I'm going back in the hive, today. During the day. When it's sunny out. I've learned that lesson. But I had been wondering what a bad beekeeping experience would be like, and that was clearly it. Lessons learned. Curiosity satiated. I hope this never happens again, because it is really not enjoyable at all.

Hoersing Around

The past two days I hit the garden and the field with the Hoerse. Thousands of weeds fell before me and my steed. They'll remember. The massacre on the tilling fields.

Hoetry

The ground is so wet

and the weeds so big

when I pulled today

my feet sank in

A Hoe Lot Of Storm

We've had thunderstorm after thunderstorm this week, keeping me and the Hoerse out of the field. The weeds have now overgrown the center of my strawberries, and pretty much all of the garden. It's not the end of the world, but it is discouraging. We had three inches yesterday afternoon, too. Hopefully two days of sunshine will let me in the field on Friday.

Last Friday was my first farmers market. I had 9 pints of strawberries and a tub of lettuce I sold by the bag. Both items were priced at $3. I sold out on strawberries and sold two bags of lettuce as well. Not a terrible start. My table neighbor said it was the busiest he'd seen things, and I thought it was slow. But this particular market is only 4 weeks old and quite rural. All things considered I think I did well. We'll see how the next one goes.

Yesterday, Tuesday, I tried going to the other market I have my eye on, but the aforementioned T-storm shut it down before it started. Flash flooding kept me from a timely arrival, and when I showed up no one was to be seen. So I drove over to my grandmas and sold her a Grandma Special of lettuce & berries to cover my gas. She was only too pleased.

I only had 4 pints of berries anyway, because one of my rows spent the whole weekend setting out runners instead of new blossoms.

And two quick notes on insects: my bee hives have expanded into their second brood box, which is excellent (each hive only has two brood boxes, all additional boxes, which will be added next year, are going to be honey boxes); and the fireflies are really coming out now, which makes sunsets and the evening dusk even more beautiful. Especially after a late storm like yesterday's.

This post was much too long. More hoeing, less essay, right?

Now Hoe Do You Like That?

I'm through half the field with the Hoerse now, but I got rained out before noon. Have to wait for the ground to dry a bit before using it again. That's alright, there's plenty to hoe by hand. Was supposed to be dry the beginning of this week though. What do weather websites know anyway. I haven't used my irrigation in three weeks, at least.

The Hoerse

All of my tools come compliments of my uncle, who's farm and land I use.

He gave me my two hoes. These are the bread and butter of my weed control. I get in between the strawberry plants, take all the transgressing life out of my rows.

He gave me my first roto-tiller, too. This I used to reform my rows before my first planting. I'd been forced to drive over my ridges as I made them; so I had ridges where before there were none, but the soil was compacted. It's a good machine, but you have to pull it, walking backwards.

The newest and latest tiller though. My goodness. I'm using it for the aisles. It has wheels! It goes forward, and reverse, in both fast and slow speeds! I just walk behind it, ever so slowly, and make sure it doesn't go crazy. On the safety flap that keeps your feet from stepping into the blades, it just says "The Horse."

I Thought I Knew Hoeing...

Then I met my potatoes.

See, in the strawberry field, I just scrape the surface, kill the weeds off young while they can't resist. When there's a big one, perhaps a rogue corn cob colonizing a row, it's just a matter of swinging down harder.

The potatoes require additional dirt so that as they grow they don't become exposed to the light and turn green. It's some heavy duty hoeing and I only did two of the four rows before retreating back to my strawberries. Strawberry hoeing felt like a cool-down after the potatoes.

I've been experiencing some deja vu in the field. I'll wipe some sweat from my brow, take a fresh swing, the clouds will pass overhead just so, and I'll swear it was last Thursday. I'm more than half way through the first full weeding of the field, so maybe it's good to be experiencing deja vu. Every stroke can't be unlike every other.

A Callous Hoe

The first fifteen minutes hoeing I spend thinking about what to write. The next fifteen is spent trying to remember the first fifteen. My brain stops thinking after a half hour.

I'm developing callouses on my hands. I had some, but these ones are getting mondo. When I finished, I stretched my clenched hands, and could feel the skin at the base of my middle finger tearing.

At one point, a glob of mud dislodged by my hoeing, slowly rolled down the ridge towards my feet. It made me jump before I realized what it was. I thought, maybe this is my end. Death by a mud covered Sonic.

First Guest Hoe

The honest farmer says I'm the honest farmette. I think farmess sounds better.

We picked our first batch of strawberries today! They look and taste just like strawberries should.

I also picked snow peas and lettuce for my sandwich for lunch.

I hoed a few of our last rows in preparation for our final major sowing. I'm excited about the cantaloupe!

Hippie Hippie Hoe Hoe

My hippie girlfriend is now one of my employees. She picked flowers and weeds in the field today. What a silly girl.

Hoe & Post

It has been suggested that I post whenever I do something interesting relating to farming. That I'm the Honest Farmer not the Honest Hoe.

Right now I'm resisting. I hoed for two hours; I didn't really think about anything while doing it.

O--there was this: the first everbearing strawberries are ripening. I picked four today. They were all small, but they tasted like strawberries.

Hoe Do You Spell Relief?

These anti-allergy meds are working pretty good. Daily bloody noses in the morning is clear and certain proof. Today's cut my hoeing a little short though. Hoe well.

I've only been hoeing the West side of the rows. I'll hoe the East side next. It lets me see more of the field more frequently. Anyway, I'm in the middle of my field now, so I'm a quarter of the way through.

Maybe I should title these by Rows/Side/Revolution. Today would be 10,11/West/1. Or something like that.

No, that'll probably just be confusing...

This Morning's Agenda: Bee 'N Hoe

Hoe'd for a bit. It wasn't hoe-rrible.

Then I got a call about a bee hive swarming. I know what to do about swarms, but I've never actually done. So I went with another guy who had two hives on the farm which, unfortunately, didn't make it through the winter.

So we found the swarm by a pine tree, a 2'x2' in the grass of bees. First we sprayed them with sugar water. Then we propped two frames against each other right on top of them. They immediately started crawling up the frames, and five minutes later we put the frames and half the bees inside our cardboard box.

The next part was neat. With half the swarm in the box, and half in the grass, we weren't quite sure where the queen was. Within ten seconds of putting the lid on the box, a line of bees three thick and a foot long, began moving towards the box entrance. So we had the queen in the box afterall!

The box is still out there, with bees walking into it. We'll transfer the box to a hive at dusk. Should bee alright.

An Early Hoe Job

We got an impressive storm last night for a few hours. Knocked out the power at our substation for three hours. Also blew down part of an oak tree right on my bramble patch. It's covering about twenty five raspberries.

So I hoed early this morning, while the pollen was still down. It was super muddy though. I haven't been using gloves, because they just lead to mud everywhere, so I've taken to trying to swing the hoe clean. Swift strokes and sudden jerks.

It wasn't the most effective cleaning method... but it got the job done.

Monday Morning Hoeing

Those new drugs just weren't cutting it. Was disabled by massive amounts of tears and snot as the recently mowed alfalfa field assisted the already numerous pollen in an assault on my sinuses.

A wet rag helped me though, and now I'm keeping one around my neck/face whenever I go outside. Helps a lot.

I keep looking at this Monetize tab when posting. Maybe I should do some hoe reviews with some links so when people google "hoe" or "hoeing" this is the number one site.

Anyone who needs some real-world testing for their hoes, please contact me.

Herman the Hoe Man

In my head, I can make Herman sound like Hoe Man. I use a voice I associate with old cartoons. That high pitched "Scram" voice that sounds more like "Scwam."

Because I prefer video games as my primary form of entertainment, they sometimes influence my fantasies. For instance, when my life ends I imagine reviewing my Life Fact Sheet, before pushing "Continue" of course. On that fact sheet will be a statistic. Money Made Per Swing Hoeing.

I once figured my Money Made Per Shovel on a construction job as $0.03.

A Dirty Hoe

Light rains all day today, but that can't stop me. Every half dozen swings or so the mud needs to be cleaned off the hoe. But this gets a little mud on the gloves, which is then transfered to the shaft. After the first hour, my hoe was so dirty, if I didn't swing right it'd slip right out of my hands on impact. Damn dirty hoe.

I'm A Fevered Hoe

If you have seasonal allergies, get a desk job.

Don't work outside like me. I ran out of Prefix-itin the second day into last week's rain and never got to the store for more. I spent all morning waking up because of itches in my nose or imminent sneezing.

Got to the drug store by ten and had some prefix-zyr. So far my nose feels like a faucet that, every five minutes or so, turns on.

Between the hoe and the nose, I'm drained.

The Honest Farmer Hoes Every Day

I'm the honest farmer. I hoe every day. This is where I'll write down what I thought about while hoeing. So every day I'll go hoe, and then come back and write in this. That's the plan.

I'd like to hoe two hours a day. I've only done one today. Hoeing's a bitch.

I worked in the garden today. Where corn cobs escaped the harvest in the fall, the weeds sprout thick in the spring.