Hippie Hippie Hoe Hoe

My hippie girlfriend is now one of my employees. She picked flowers and weeds in the field today. What a silly girl.

Hoe & Post

It has been suggested that I post whenever I do something interesting relating to farming. That I'm the Honest Farmer not the Honest Hoe.

Right now I'm resisting. I hoed for two hours; I didn't really think about anything while doing it.

O--there was this: the first everbearing strawberries are ripening. I picked four today. They were all small, but they tasted like strawberries.

Hoe Do You Spell Relief?

These anti-allergy meds are working pretty good. Daily bloody noses in the morning is clear and certain proof. Today's cut my hoeing a little short though. Hoe well.

I've only been hoeing the West side of the rows. I'll hoe the East side next. It lets me see more of the field more frequently. Anyway, I'm in the middle of my field now, so I'm a quarter of the way through.

Maybe I should title these by Rows/Side/Revolution. Today would be 10,11/West/1. Or something like that.

No, that'll probably just be confusing...

This Morning's Agenda: Bee 'N Hoe

Hoe'd for a bit. It wasn't hoe-rrible.

Then I got a call about a bee hive swarming. I know what to do about swarms, but I've never actually done. So I went with another guy who had two hives on the farm which, unfortunately, didn't make it through the winter.

So we found the swarm by a pine tree, a 2'x2' in the grass of bees. First we sprayed them with sugar water. Then we propped two frames against each other right on top of them. They immediately started crawling up the frames, and five minutes later we put the frames and half the bees inside our cardboard box.

The next part was neat. With half the swarm in the box, and half in the grass, we weren't quite sure where the queen was. Within ten seconds of putting the lid on the box, a line of bees three thick and a foot long, began moving towards the box entrance. So we had the queen in the box afterall!

The box is still out there, with bees walking into it. We'll transfer the box to a hive at dusk. Should bee alright.

An Early Hoe Job

We got an impressive storm last night for a few hours. Knocked out the power at our substation for three hours. Also blew down part of an oak tree right on my bramble patch. It's covering about twenty five raspberries.

So I hoed early this morning, while the pollen was still down. It was super muddy though. I haven't been using gloves, because they just lead to mud everywhere, so I've taken to trying to swing the hoe clean. Swift strokes and sudden jerks.

It wasn't the most effective cleaning method... but it got the job done.

Monday Morning Hoeing

Those new drugs just weren't cutting it. Was disabled by massive amounts of tears and snot as the recently mowed alfalfa field assisted the already numerous pollen in an assault on my sinuses.

A wet rag helped me though, and now I'm keeping one around my neck/face whenever I go outside. Helps a lot.

I keep looking at this Monetize tab when posting. Maybe I should do some hoe reviews with some links so when people google "hoe" or "hoeing" this is the number one site.

Anyone who needs some real-world testing for their hoes, please contact me.

Herman the Hoe Man

In my head, I can make Herman sound like Hoe Man. I use a voice I associate with old cartoons. That high pitched "Scram" voice that sounds more like "Scwam."

Because I prefer video games as my primary form of entertainment, they sometimes influence my fantasies. For instance, when my life ends I imagine reviewing my Life Fact Sheet, before pushing "Continue" of course. On that fact sheet will be a statistic. Money Made Per Swing Hoeing.

I once figured my Money Made Per Shovel on a construction job as $0.03.

A Dirty Hoe

Light rains all day today, but that can't stop me. Every half dozen swings or so the mud needs to be cleaned off the hoe. But this gets a little mud on the gloves, which is then transfered to the shaft. After the first hour, my hoe was so dirty, if I didn't swing right it'd slip right out of my hands on impact. Damn dirty hoe.

I'm A Fevered Hoe

If you have seasonal allergies, get a desk job.

Don't work outside like me. I ran out of Prefix-itin the second day into last week's rain and never got to the store for more. I spent all morning waking up because of itches in my nose or imminent sneezing.

Got to the drug store by ten and had some prefix-zyr. So far my nose feels like a faucet that, every five minutes or so, turns on.

Between the hoe and the nose, I'm drained.

The Honest Farmer Hoes Every Day

I'm the honest farmer. I hoe every day. This is where I'll write down what I thought about while hoeing. So every day I'll go hoe, and then come back and write in this. That's the plan.

I'd like to hoe two hours a day. I've only done one today. Hoeing's a bitch.

I worked in the garden today. Where corn cobs escaped the harvest in the fall, the weeds sprout thick in the spring.